I've been reinspired

So I think I'm going to start blogging again, but stick to the main theme of my original idea. Food stuff only :) I've spent way too long looking at vegan food blogs and found out October is Vegan MoFo, month of food. Vegans are encouraged to blog about food this month. Anyway I always like to be a part of something positive and maybe it will get me in the kitchen more :) more to come. . .

done with you

I'm not posting anymore

call me for some real interaction :)

how about that?!

Not too bad for a Monday

Especially considering I went out til after 2 am last night. I would probably not have woken up If my sister Megan hadn't called me at 6:30 this morning to tell me my grandpa died. He's been having health problems and things just gave out on him. It is sad but I didn't even cry, I haven't been close with him since he divorced my grandma for his mistress when I was like 12 years old. He was a nice guy though and I feel bad for my mom, she has been driving to Monterey every other day to see him. I have to call her tonight but it may feel weird cause I'm not sad. I feel like a bad person but I also feel like I didn't even know him.
Other than that the rest of the day was surprisingly pleasant. The cab driver who got me to work on time was cool to talk to and didn't let me tip him. I really love San Francisco. And things are so fun right now. I don't want it to go away.
Last night I went out with Jasmine and we met up with some of our neighbors at Kilowatt. Had some beers and chatted with them. Then we went to D and danced, Jonah was there and he danced with me. Dancing makes me laugh soo much! I get so embarrased but it's so funny cause everyone dances bad but are having fun and I love that :) Jonah was so incredibly cool. When I got there he was chatting with two girls and I got a little sad, I have to admit. But s soon as he saw me he came over and said hi. He was present but not too present the entire time. I liked it and Jasmine was "lightweight impressed" by the way he acted with me. Thats good considering she isn't the biggest fan of someone who wants to steal me away. My neighbor told me she hasn't seen Jonah act this way with a girl in a really long time. She also said his tattoos were amazing and went on about how good he is and she wants to get this meaningful one done by him. I still haven't seen any of his work but I know the boy has talent. He's painting the hallway to his apt and it is so so pretty. I was in awe and it's nowhere near being done.
He's being really sweet with me :) and after talking last night we are exclusive to one another. But I'm not his girlfriend, nor do I want to be. Jasmine and I have a double date with her friends from San Jose tonight. I've met her guy once and never met this other guy. It's just the movies, it should be fun since we are going to Imax, but the movie doesn't start til 12am. My sleep schedule is going to be so fucked up. So I need to take a nap right now. A long one! But I'm not too tired. Work was actually quite pleasant today. No crazy rushing or frantic feeling of 11:30 sneeking up on us. It's the first day we were calm and I like cooking with Ranya a lot.
Alright..... naptime I guess.

"Old people don't make out"

That is what Jerimiah said on Friday night when I asked him if he took his date, who is over 30 like him, back to his workshop to makeout with her. For some reason I kept thinking about that yesterday while waiting for Feist. I think it's kinda lame but I can see how they are just over it or maybe bitter by then. Love is not easy but it is supposed to be fun! When I get old I'm still going to makeout!
Speaking of making out and fun, let's me just say I'm having a lot of fun right now. I've gotten to do everything I've wanted to do and still have gotten to see Jonah the past 3 nights. It's weird because I'd rather hang out and have fun and see him casually whenever and he's the same way, although he has invited me everywhere he's gone, I've kinda just done my own thing. Last night we kinda talked about "us" and it was way too soon for that conversation and he kinda blew it by bringing anything up, I like that he likes me but I don't know what I want and am confused as to what he wants. When we woke up I asked if we could forget last night, and he thought I was over him. I told him it's too soon for me to be over it, I'm still trying to know him. He hugged me :)
Last night I went to see Feist in Berkeley!!! The show was soo good, she is amazing. Really amazing singer and haha soo feisty! She talked to the crowd a lot and was smart, and sassy but she was adorable. And there was this crazy projection the these 2 girls were doing for the back screen. At one point she started with a picture of waves drawn with those projector markers, remember from grade school, and by the end had turned into something completely more detailed and crazy all with her hands. It was so cool. And Berkeley was perfect, like always. I had fun with Jasmine. After that her and I went out to D, met some guy she knew, named Alex, randomly right when we got in, had good conversations and talked to a few other people. We didn't even move from our seats at the bar the whole night, everything just came to us. I met a nice guy named Kurt, I thought he was some guy I met earlier that day at Jonah's so I was like HI, then we just continued to talk. Me and Jasmine are going to play doubles tennis with Kurt and Alex. I really hope that happens cause they were telling us about their outfits and I need to see Kurt in a headband, short shorts, a polo and white cons! After that we went to a small party with them and hung out for a while. It was a good night but I escaped to meet Jonah without saying bye to Kurt. I felt bad but Jasmine said she gave him my number cause he asked :) Well I should finish getting ready cause I'm going to meet Jasmine and Jerimiah at GG Park to watch them swing dance and look at the turtles, after that I'm shopping on Haight cause I haven't done that yet.

Oh man...

Just when I was wanting to give up on you, you make it all better and some! We will see, this may be something more :)

San Francisco boys, boys, BOYS!

Too much talking about boys going on! Girls can be so obsessive. I'm doing my best to not. But it is kinda fun trying to figure out guys, but only if you keep a careless attitude otherwise it gets very messy.
I saw Jonah last night again!
It was fun. I just wish I was more talkative but things seem to be going well. I'm not too sure what I want to come out of it but it's nice right now.

I shouldn't have drove last night

Too many shots, too quick, no lunch or dinner, or maybe too many drunk people around rubbing off on me, whatever reason I was drunk. And it was interesting. I went to Mountain View to visit my old coworkers. I tattled about Gabe having me on front of house and almost cried when I was talking to Clark about how bad it was depressing me. There was a lot of love and hugs and kisses and tears last night. It was Corbins last day and Clark and Myrna are dealing with a lot of changes and stresses at work. They feel like they have to take care of everyone in the kitchen now. And the new EC they deal with sounds like no fun at all. Poor Clarky and Myrna, I miss them, they are going to try to get me back in Mountain View but I don't know that sorta seems lame to go back like that, as much as I'd like it. I hate hating my job. I won't go back though, something will happen and things will get better.

Damn all I want to do is sleep this day away and clean my room but I have to get up to volunteer at Doof.... I hope it's better than last year at least.

A gold star day

Home from hanging out with Jonah. It was a good date, I must say I like him. Maybe not forever but for now, no doubt :) And I haven't felt that in a long time.
And work was not so bad, I realized I actually got that raise for transfering to the city. Doesn't make much of a difference in me wanting to be there but it helps. Tomorrows Friday. I will survive one more day.

Fuck my Job!

Ugh. My job sucks. I can't wait for JP to get home to see if they need anyone at Greens restaurant.

I don't like anyone there, except Sam, Ian, Ranya and Gabe. And they don't even like working there. Today Gabe asked if I wanted to move to salad bar, salad bar? Umm not really. Plus it would be with this lazy dimwit who likes to tell me what to do. Yesterday he sat down with me and Sam and was like okay Ashley should we get the boxing gloves out? I was like I'm sorry dude I only got an hour of sleep last night and I apologize if I was rude earlier (I had just rolled my eyes is all). He was like okay what about all the other days. I just told him I wasn't used to be told what to do (and the fact that he's an idiot trying to tell me what to do pisses me off) and I'm still trying to adjust because I don't like it there. Whatever the conversation didn't help much.
So I had to make a decision when Gabe asked and I told him I'd rather stay on front of house til he hires someone. Then we had to go into why I didn't want to work with the guy. I've been trying to avoid being spoiled but I even asked Sam what I should do and he looked at me and gave me a kiss on the cheek cause he knows how much I'm hating it, as is he. If JP has room I'm going to try and get me and Sam a job at Greens. And fuck Bob, he makes me so angry. He has to fucking talk so much and this afternoon he trys to get me to help prep scallops for an event tomorrow and I'm like isn't there anything else I can do... so that starts a conversation where he gets very judgemental about my life, while trying to act like he's looking out for my best interest. Every damn thing I say he has a response for. I finally say Why do u have to fucking say something about everything I say, you don't even know me and are judging me so much. I see him smile. But he did have a good point, I need to get the fuck out of Google. I just don't want to fuck over the cafe since they have hiring freeze but I need to do what I need to do. I hear JP downstairs, I'm gonna go talk to him now.

UH Ohhh!!

Someone met a guy last night, that means trouble. We are having dinner on Thursday. I kinda like him, so far. I'm a little scared...

Whatever happens, I'm blaming Jasmine!

Guess I'm not so privelaged

I have to work front of house this week at work. When Gabe asked me to do it I'm sure I gave him a look like Did I do something wrong?! He knew I'd be offended but I pretty much said yes to "A Favor" before I even knew what it was. He looked so cute with his new haircut ;) And now he owes me... according to him he owes me again, so I'm okay with that.
I could have shot myself, having to fill up like 80 water bottles for the tables, not once but twice, before and after lunch. And it was pretty damn boring picking up lettuce, wiping counters, sorting silverware and filling napkins. This is going to be a long week. I really miss my friends at No Name but in a way it's nice not being bugged, which a few of them there did bug me a lot. Although today Bob got into the whole Why Are You A Vegan? thing. I tried to avoid talking about it and he was like u aren't even giving me any good reasons, so I finally said "U know why Bob, because I was made fun of it at my last job so much that I'm trying to avoid even talking about it here, thats why I really don't talk to you very much" Some of the others guys came to my defense and were like just leave her alone, don't tease her. That was nice. But I don't think it will last.

I got a Fast Pass!

I can take bart and muni anywhere now cause the month is paid for :)
Totally new and dorky, I know. But I like being a dork and I like being new to the city. Haha stupid Bob, this guy I work with told me he saw me walking to work on Monday, my first day, and I had my map out and was looking around. He said he ignored me because I looked way too nerdy, even though he knew it was me.
My new job is okay. I like getting to work much better now although I know there will be times where I wish I could just take my car. Like when it's raining, considering it's about 30 minutes of walking. But I'm enjoying it so far. I think Monday I was bitter, there was no way this new place would be a good as my family at No Name. But I went in there and was happily met by Sam, a former but now current, coworker. And guess what? I wasn't on veg station, I was in charge of composed salads, salads containing meat. Huh? yeah...
Had to let that soak in for a minute and got in one argument with Bob when I was cooking bacon and I said it was disgusting, I think it surprised a few people, but they seemed to be impressed by me for standing up to Bob. So I came to terms with the whole meat thing. Not happy about it and avoid it at all cost but when it comes down to me making a huge deal or just getting my job done without complaining I'm gonna just do it. This is a fesh work environment and I'm trying to make it enjoyable, meaning I'm taking Cory's advice and trying not to let people figure out how to get to me. I have been working my ass off. I'm really trying to impress. I want nothing but good things said about me and It's fun working hard. Yeah it is only salads but there is 3 that change everyday and I am on my own for all my prep. I'm actaully really enjoying working on my knife skills, especially when I get to look up out the window with a beautiful view of the bay bridge, palm trees and water!! It feels like vacation :) Gabe, my new sous chef, (umm who is very nice to look at) asked me where I wanted to be in the kitchen, I told him veg, of course and he said I'd be there as soon as he figured out a switch, within a month. By Friday I went up to him and told him I wanted to stay on composed salads. He kinda laughed at me until I explained my reasoning... -I want to write the menus without stepping on toes, as it would be if I moved to veg, -I like where my station is, I'm facing the windows instead of the wall and I'm right next to Sam in our little corner, instead of next to Bob, if I moved to veg, Thursday Sam brought his ipod and him and I listened to AFI, Feist, and Rilo Kiley all day -I also like composed salads because I'm working alone and the veg team seem to work slow, I don't want to slow down. Gabe seemed to be okay with me staying on composed salads. He's been cool towards me, I can tell he was told to take care of me, although I'm trying not to be privelaged by working as hard and fast as I can. Overall it's not that bad working there and I think it will only keep getting better.

looking back but staring foward

I'd just like to congradulate myself for a moment. I have almost completely changed my life in the past 6 months. I knew this day would come where I could look back and be proud of the hardships I had to go through to get here, exactly where I want to be. Maybe it isn't that huge of a deal to anybody else but it takes courage to realize unhappiness and do whats neccessary to change it. I live in a new city, have a new job and I'm loving everyday full of new experiences :) Really things have been great. I'm making friends with my roomates. It's nice coming home to people you enjoy. And I love that I've reconnected with Elisa and Nicole.
SF has so much to offer and I've barely scratched the surface of it all. It makes it even better having Ashley and German here visiting! This weekend has been so fun so far. Thursday I picked them up, took them by Google in Mountain View, which was disappointingly unactive. So we headed to the city, found their hotel and I went home for a bit to change. Met back up with them, had a good dinner and drinks. Headed to Popscene, so German could dance!! It was worth seeing, but me not being much of a dancer, did not belong. We then went to Mastadon to meet Elisa, her and I proceeded to get drunk and didn't make it home til almost 4. We both woke up hungover but I remember us laughing a lot so it wasn't too bad. I dropped her off at bart and made my way to Rainbow Market. Was pretty impressive. I thought it was cute that Ash told me German had said he hopes I cook for them, so I had to, even though being hungover and a new kitchen made cooking turn into an all day project. Not very often do I get to put my skills to use for a vegan friend. I made my faithful lasagna, with a few alterations and a really good salad with mixed greens, quinoa, green apple, gogi berries, walnuts and a basil-apple dressing. Mmm. It was nice to have them over and Jerimiah and JP ate with us. I wanted to make dessert but couldn't find the tofu I needed. So after dinner at my house we went to Cafe Gratitude and spent $50 on dessert and latte's, damn nuts are soo expensive! Andy met us there then we made our way down near their hotel. There was random fireworks all over the city sky but we didn't make it a point to watch. Kind of disappointing but I'm over it. We went to this place German heard of called Annie's Social Club. It was cool, had a band playing in the front, good drinks and karaoke in the back. Ash and German both sang and it was great. It was Ash's first time going up alone and it had to be the most adorable thing I've ever seen her do :) Haha I'm so proud, the girl can sing even though she won't admit it! Me and Andy got home eventually, and ate lasagna, after hanging out at their hotel til 3am, talking, talking, talking about some things I'm upset we spent so much talking about, but whatever. I really like hanging out with Ash and German and Andy was drunk and entertaining! Andy I promise someday we will smoke on my roof!!! :)
Today we spent the day in Santa cruz

It was nice being there. We got PF, of course, and vegan milkshakes and I got some cute things at American Apparel. Mainly it was just nice to hang out, Dana and Hunter met us there and Ash got to meet the sweet little guy!

It was a long drive. Tomorrow they go home, but not before breakfast with Ash's dad and picking up Kylie. I can't wait to see Kylie cause I'm gonna tell her about our plans for Disneyland! I hope she's excited as I am.

I killed it Gilbert, I killed it!!

What's Eating Gilbert Grape used to be my favorite movie! I love when things come up and make you realize how much you used to love something, and still do. I've watched it countless number of times, such a great movie!!!

I'm in Hollister today, watching Gilbert Grape now but I went to my grandmas on the hill earlier and visited with my mom while she sat with my great aunt Lucy. I haven't been out there in way too long. Everytime I go I miss my cousins, we used to have so much fun!

I had to take Andy back to SJ this morning to go to work, so she could be hungover and eat donuts! It actaully worked out well cause I just kept on driving, I had to come to pick up my cooking stuff in Hollister so I can cook for German and Ashley next weekend! I cannot wait :) for them to visit! A whole 3 day weekend with my best friend in my new city with lots to do and tons of people watching fireworks and even a trip to Santa Cruz for Planet Fresh. I hope this week goes by quickly then slows way down for the weekend. I've been trying to think of where I'll take her and German, I'm not too sure just yet. Last night I went out to a couple different places, I think it was in the Tenderloin but not too sure. It was Andy, Jasmine, me and like 7 of Jasmine's girl friends, oh and Johnny! It was fun and I drank vodka-for the first time in I dunno 6 months! I got drunk, ask Andy! Thats what happens when your taking shots on the street with a bunch of rowdy girls, good thing because we could barely stay in one bar long enough to finish one drink before we moved on to another bar. It was kinda of absurd. But fun...

Thought this pic above was cute, I don't know what everyone is laughing at, maybe the fact that all the girls got to take pics with the shirtless billboard ;) Here is Andy!... haha...

Hottest Bareback Action!!! What street were we on?... and WTF does that even mean? Hmr.

Well I should switch the laundry and I wanna finish watching this movie. I should get back to SF soon to do a trial run of my route to work so I'm not walking around lost at 6:30 tomorrow morning. We'll see, I'm kinda lazy... and I got bad blisters last night :(

It's not goodbye, it's goodnight!

Sad. My last day at No Name Cafe :(
I start in SF Monday morning, not til 7am! I'm really REALLY going to miss this place and my little family of friends I have here. Jen decided not to transfer with me so I'm on my own. I know I'll be fine in a new environment but I'm just going to miss my home that I have here. Today towards the end of work was kind of madness for me, first Leo threw flour at me but I was holding a pitcher of vegan red pepper sour cream and got him with that!!! Then I noticed him filling up a bucket, I knew he was going to try and get me back so I walked over and gave him dirty looks and said something mean, I don't remember now, and he was yelling "Why are you so mean to me?! as he threw the water that he did have in the bucket at me. Good job Leo...
Then me and Nico started messing around and I got him good with a water bottle then Oscar came from behind with probably 8 quarts of water and threw it at me. I screamed and was in shock like Who did that?! Ugh and somehow my jacket got ripped all the way up the side so everyone could see my turquoise bra through my white shirt. I ran to the bathroom and showered without saying goodbye to everyone I wanted to. I'll need to come back soon. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjGC7HTUoV4
Anyway off to hang out with with Clark and Denise for a night of drunken fun!

On the way to loving it!

First off Clark says Hi to everyone. So HI!


I'm hanging out in the office at work just passing time while my food digests so I can go to the gym. Thought I would blog about how much SF is growing on me. Last night I went with Jerimiah to a show at Cafe Du Nord on Market. I went there a long time ago with all my old friends (awe.) to see the Von Bondies. I like that place and the band we saw last night was so amazing. I don't even remember their name, have to ask him tonight. He could tell I liked them because he was like "Ashley you haven't moved this whole time, it's intense isn't it?" It was intense, a very much lesbian lead singer who also played guitar and a guy with Jesus hair and beard on the drums. It was a good night. I like hanging out with Jerimiah and 2 and a half beers was just enough to make me feel like it wasn't Monday night.


This past weekend was fun. Friday night I got a haircut Oh Yeah... here's a pic!

Kind of inspired by Amelie, which I watched on Thursday night, although it didn't even occur to me until Meagan metioned it. After my haircut I went with Jasmine and her friend Jhonny to Rory's work in the Castro the Midnight Sun-it's a gay bar. FYI don't use the bathroom in gay bars or at least don't be surprised if you hear/see some stuff going on! gross...

*Mr. Impatient (Cory) is buying me a beer in exchange for a ride to the city. Will finish blogging later
Bye*

I'm back, it's now Wednesday afternoon and today was an interesting day. Nico and I drank blackberry sangria's since 11am! (CORY I told u that u aren't allowed to use anything you read here against me, remember!) What a nice way to get through the day. Haha and after yesterday when he accidentally touched my boob so I accidentally touched his (all day!) it was a little flirty and awkward but totally fun ;)

I also found out today that my new job (?!!!?) probably starts Monday. Which only gives me 2 days left here :( I don't know what I'm going to do without my Clarky. He better keep to his word and come hang out with me all the time. One good thing about the move other than it's in SF is that Jen is transfering with me! If I had to choose someone to come with me, other than Clark or Cory, it would be Jen. I'm stoked although I know she's a little nervous, having barely found out about the transfer today, I know she overwhelmed but our bosses are looking out for our best intrest and I told her all we can do is trust their judgement. It will be cool...

Cory gave me a parting gift! It's his kombucha mushroom!! That he was always too scared to drink. I will take good care of it :)

I don't know what the rest of the week holds but I know it will be fun. The only thing I'm not looking foward to is telling Denise-my partner in veg cooking crime- that I won't be working here anymore... it's going to suck for her for a bit because we are already short handed but she's a tough girl and a great cook, she'll be okay.

Well I should get off to the gym and then head home to the city that I'm really sarting to love. I'm thinking I should just stay home tonight and get to be early but that's also what I thought last night :) We'll see, something more important may come up.

Busy week!

It's only Wednesday and I'm exhausted. Monday after work I took the hardest yoga class I've ever taken, then that night I hung out with Jasmine at the house and later went out with Jerimiah and Jasmine (roomates) and had fun getting to know them a little better. They have been so nice to me, totally accepting me into their friendship, it's cute they both told me, seperately, they they are each others best friend :) I thought that was adorable because it seems like the best friend title is new and it's cute. Last night I met up with Nicole, who I haven't seen in like a year. Did a lot of talking about SF, ex boyfriends/ex roomates, drank good beer and ate an amazing vegan sausage with sauerkraut, mustard and ketchup!
To be continued... Andy's here for dinner :)

Okay so now it's Friday afternoon! yay. What a long week but it was a really good week. Got to catch up with Andy on Wednesday night even though I wasn't much company. Then went home and crashed. Got woken up at midnight to one of Jasmines friends screaming on the phone with her boyfriend. That was intense to be woken up to. They broke up... ugh so glad I don't have to worry about that :) Thyen last night I cooked dinner for Jasmine and Meagan (roomates) and we hung out on the porch because it was so nice and hot. Today I'm taking Clark and his friend to the airport, they are going to Vegas!! Clark's first time and I know he's going to LOVE it. He's super excited, it's cute. Then going to get my hair done somewhere in the castro area, not sure what I'm doing but yet but I know it involves scissors and hair dye. Then probably drinks with Elisa or the roomates. Going to a potluck bbq tomorrow at Elisa's and I got tons of goodies from work to prepare for that... chocolate covered blueberries anyone?! Anyway I should get going, I know these boys are ansy to get to Vegas and I don't want to be late to my appointment.

I'm gonna get mugged. and some randomness.

Living in SF has made me a little scared. 2 girls I've talked to have both been mugged... great. My roomates purse got stolen at gunpoint and Elisa was attacked by 2 people with aluminum bats while she was with 2 friends, they had to go to the hospital. So now I'm paranoid, I don't live in the best neighborhood and unfortunatly cabs aren't always available, like at 12pm on Mission after getting off of bart on a Thursday night. I have pepper spray but I need to get a bigger purse so I have space to carry it but I wonder, I am really going to have the guts to use it or have the time to find it? What if I miss my aim and get shot?!

There are a few other gripes I have about the city...

Some streets are filthy with trash and scary/crazy people, the other day I was getting off bart at 16th and Mission and saw some huge scene, a barefooted homeless lady was trying to steal some girls bike, somehow the girl caught her and got it back, I was a little late to see all that happen, but what I did see was the girl tell this crazy lady that she hopes her life gets better. Thats when the lady gets psycho, starts running and pushing her way around all kinds of people, goes to a full trash can picks up the liner and swings it probably 15 ft toward the girl who is now running away with her bike. Some huge guy grabs the crazy lady, I think he knew her, and she starts slapping him in the face. Meanwhile I'm trying to figure out which way I need to go and get the hell out of there....

It's never dress weather. Even when it's hot enough it's always windy, almost too windy for a dress. And anyone who knows me knows I don't wear or even own practical shoes so it's been a challenge dealing with all the walking. Friday I had to stay home so my poor little feet could have time to heal...

But overall I have to say I am starting to love the city life. I've been doing some exploring on my own. My favorite street SO far is Valencia. It has Buffalo Exchange, Herbivore, Whole Foods and Zeitgeist-this awesome bar I met Elisa at. Which by the way, ELISA I had a lot of fun hanging out with you!! My gawd those 7 years flew by, I'm glad we got to catch up and I look foward to hanging out sometime soon :) I'm glad I have a friend in the city. and p.s. I'm now posting more pics on here for you!

I finally met the last roomate yesterday, Rory. I like everyone a lot! I haven't gotten to hang out with them at all yet. Jerimiah and Jasmine asked me to go out Tuesday but I was all ready for bed. And the rest of the week flew by without me seeing much of anybody. Last night they all had a bbq but I unfortunately had promised my sister weeks ago I'd come up to Santa Rosa to her party so I missed all that madness. My roomates seem to be excited by the fact that I cook vegan. I need to just go get all my kitchen stuff from my parents house and make space for it so I have everything I need.

Today I'm still in Santa Rosa hanging out with my sister, we got pedicures! There's my bright yellow toes right now, with her boyfriends kitty Ticky :)

Yesterday on the way up here I passed this boat and couldn't belive someone had taken it out on the water. I had to take a picture because I thought it was awesome.
Also I took a picture of this cause I was surprised to see it in the window of a very mexican liquor store, I think it was when I was walking on Mission yesterday. I listened to the cd on my way to Santa Rosa...

Anyway I just felt like posting some stuff since I have internet connection at the moment. Going to go get some sushi with Rachelle and Scott in a while then head home.

Finally

Finally some internet connection!... cause I'm at Google. I don't have any at my new house!!! Okay well I do but haven't figured it out yet and haven't asked. Last Thursday was my first night in SF and it's been nothing but experiences since then. I got there, unpacked my car made my bed and was like now what?! So I went for a walk, destination Cafe Gratitude. It was nice, the food is okay, nothing I couldn't make myself for cheaper but still, the environment is nice :) The girls are really sweet. They asked me the question of the day... What do you excel at? My quick answer was "Well I made really good bread pudding today!" So we chatted about that for a bit. Actually the bread pudding I made was AMAZING!! With coco de leche, orange extract, vanilla,extract and slight bit of almond extract and tofu, soy creamer and soy milk. The outcome was soooo freaking good!... I made everyone try it and people are still talking about it today :) Anyway enough about bread pudding already.
Friday I went to Hollister after work loaded up my car and headed back up North, stopped in SJ and did some damage and Aritzia, Bare Escentuals and Forever 21. Then headed home to unpack my car and chat with my new roomate Jasmine for a bit before bed.
Saturday I woke up so early to catch BART to Embarcadero where Cory and I volunteered cooking breakfast at the huge Farmers Market! BART was cool except haha I didn't know that they all go either one way or another so was waiting for one that said Embarcadero, which would be my stop. Luckily Cory filled me in on that only after waiting 30 minutes, so I got on the next train and was only half hour late but we both got there around the same time. The breakfast was cool, 300 people in 3 sessions, I made 30 beautiful fruit plates, did some dishes and other random stuff. Afterward Cory and I delivered all the extra donated produce back to the vendors and I got to meet some farmers :) Then went for some beers! Took BART home, this one was a long walk and I had to pee so bad then finally a nap! It was a perfect Saturday morning/afternoon. Follwed by one of the worst Saturday nights :( I still couldn't figure out how to work my shower so I had to take a bath, washing ur hair in the bath is nothing but awkward. Andy was coming to visit. I walked out to my car to get my purse and buy cigarettes and I was like Where the hell is my car?! It was not where I left it so I just kept walking realizing that it totally got towed and letting it sink in. I ran into Andy! And told her what happened so basically after that our mission was to get my car back. Neither of us even knew what to do? FYI you call the police. So we headed to 7th street to get it at a place called Auto Return (how cute). We probably turned around 10 times trying to head the right direction, passed it twice and finally I jumped out and walked into the Auto Return, 5 mintes, $238 plus a $75 parking ticket later I was driving out of the lot. Andy was somewhere else so I gave her quick directions and said Meet you at my house. I get on the phone and talk to an old friend actually our first convo in probably 7 years and proceed to get lost cause I'm not paying attention. Call Andy to see where she is and then make her lost. Basically we both get to my house around 11pm. We decide to walk down to Mission to get food and drinks. Not as easy as it seems when it's dark and you don't know where things are but we landed up eating good pizza then drinks at the Beauty Bar. The night was bleh but okay, it was good to see Andy and to have a partner for all that. Next time will be way better.
Sunday I slept in then got up without showering cause I still didn't know how to work it and went for a walk to get food. Ended up on Valencia at Herbivore, which reminds me of Veggie Grill. Ate a burrito and went around the block to Whole Foods for dinner stuff. I saw this girl riding a bike with a cart and some asked her what she was selling Vegan Sausages on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays!! How cute. She said she bought it online and it was super hard to pedal. As soon as she was gone I realized I should have talked to her, at least introduced myself, maybe bought a sausage and asked if she ever needed help cooking. (I'm trying to make friends). Maybe I'll see her next weekend... Also on Valencia is Buffalo Exchange, so I stopped in there and got 2 dresses, talked to the manager and picked up an application. Then I realized it was wishful thinking. That was my weekend :) Minus 2 really big life changing things that came up but more on all that later. It feels weird to be going home there. I think tonight the 2 guy roomates who I've only see pictures of (!) are coming home from riding their bikes to LA for the AIDS run and Jasmine comes home from Chicago. So it will be interesting to have a full house. Gonna go see what the PM crew has made for dinner tonight.... It's the Pits is the theme (stonefruit). Then a shorter than usual drive to my new home...

It's time to do something for myself and only me

Will I ever get to where I'm going?
Will I ever follow through with what I had planned
I guess it's possible that I have been a bit distracted
And the directions for me are a lot less in demand
Will I ever get to where I'm going?
If I do, will I know when I am there?
If the wind blew me in the right direction
Would I even care?
I would
I take a look around
It's evident the scene has changed
And there are times when I feel improved upon the past
Then there are times when I can't seem to understand at all and yes It seems as though I'm going nowhere... really fucking fast

Mmmm....

So I made bread pudding! I made it yesterday and served it this morning so the flavors would have time to meld together. I was in love with myself this morning as I was eating it. And it was all gone before breakfast was over!
I uhh pretty much changed the recipe and made it my own. Here is what I did:

Ashley's First Ever Vegan Bread Pudding
2 loaves sourdough bread, torn into chunks and let sit out to get stale
1 carton chocolate hemp milk
3 containers silken tofu
4 shots of espresso
Soy creamer, about a cup
Agave, maybe 1/2 cup (I wasn't measuring)
semi sweet chocolate chips, about 1 to 1 1/2 cups
dried cherries, I put a few too many
1/2 tbsp Earth Balance

So easy, just blend wet ingredients in processor and pour over bread to soak. Fold in cherries and chips. Grease the pan with Earth Balance and pour all ingredients in. Bake uncovered for about 40 minutes at 350. I also made a little pecan maple syrup sauce for over the top. Just toast the pecans and heat the syrup, combine. Let pudding cool and enjoy :)



Little bit of a visual but it sure tasted better than it looks. Mmmm can't wait for to find some extra vegan bread so I can make it again, but different next time. I want to try vanilla with maybe banana?... or apricots are in season. Yum.

That is not tofu

I walk into my kitchen after getting home from the gym, make a salad eat it on the couch and then put my dish away, thats when I noticed the bread pudding. I LOVE pudding! It's a childhood love affair started by my grandma. This pudding looks sort of different, almost like tofu, I had to tell myself "that is not tofu", twice actually. It just looked so good. Anyway I walked away more than a little disappointed but grabbed my laptop to look up my friend Google and find this:
Vegan Bread Pudding!
1 loaf of Italian bread or other soft white bread
1/2 c. Silk creamer or soy milk
4 oz. silken tofu (about 1/2 c. or 1/3 of a 12 oz. package)
2 c. soy milk
1/2 c. + 1 Tbs. sugar
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/8 tsp. fresh grated nutmeg
3/4 c. raisins
Mix creamer and tofu in a blender or food processor until smooth and creamy. Pour into a large bowl and add soy milk, 1/2 c. sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg and mix well. Tear the whole loaf of bread into small pieces and mix it all into the wet ingredients as you go. You should end up with a stiff but wet batter. Fold in the raisins then spread the mixture in a greased 8" x 12" baking dish. Sprinkle the top with the remaining sugar and bake at 350° for 1 hour. After it cools, slice it into squares to serve.

Those Googlers are getting Bread Pudding for breakfast tomorrow and so am I :)

Bizarre phone call at 2am

So the ex calls drunk asking where I am. Went something like this "Umm I'm at home.Where's home. Well I'm in Hollister tonight. Why are you calling me? I don't know... how are you? Umm well it's been rough. I miss my friend. blah blah blah you know how I feel about you Ashley, blah blah blah, you're a sweetheart, blah blah blah, I tried so hard with you, blah blah blah you and I aren't meant for each other, blah blah blah why haven't you found someone else?, blah blah blah what happened with that one guy, blah blah blah want me to kill him blah blah blah, I really like this new girl even though she's young and doesn't get it, blah blah blah hopefully someday you can hang out with us (as in him and her) blah blah blah for about 15 minutes, then we get to the real (I guess) reason why he called. He thinks his best friend Tony and I should get together. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I am sooo not the booty call type of girl. So is he serious? Is he that over me that he'd really be okay with me dating his best friend, cause it sure sounded like he thought it was a good idea. Should I just think he's stupid or take this as a complimpent or what? Regardless I'm trying not to let it bother me. It was good talking to him. He said some things I needed to hear. And it felt like I was talking to a friend. The end.

Vegan Picnic, Anyone?

I got picture happy today.

Mmm vegan hotdogs, cheese platter with "cheese whiz" and crackers and an ambrosia salad at the end!

Glazed seitan veggie kabobs and faux chicken salad sandwiches with purple grapes.
And a picture of Clarky with the weiners cause he's a winner!

If I could only wake up feeling like this everyday...

I wouldn't want to wait for bedtime!
I had THE best dream last night :) I was meeting Brandon Boyd, we were at my grandmas house and some of my family was there, but that wasn't the point at all, him and I were hitting it off great, just getting to know each other, it was very quaint. We parted to talk to others but them came back to each other because there was a certain connection, my stupid alarm went off as he called me in the other room to talk... damn! If only that dream could be continued tonight!
*taking a moment to reflect
Even though I didn't want to give up the dream I knew I had to get up. The day had to continue but what do you think I listened to on the way to work?!
Finally got to work on time today! First time in almost 2 months. Had the most productive day I've had in a while, I knew exactly what needed to be done today since it was my menu. It felt good, no bullshit, just work. Got breakfast done early and my little experiment turned out yummy. My first ever attempt at making crackers was a success and even got compliments from the carrot muffin grouch in the pastry hall. The faux egg salad was surprisingly good. My hummus was off today, although it grew on me I had put a little too much raw garlic, kinda harsh then Cory covered it in olive oil since I asked for a little extra help plating the dish. He thought thats how all hummus was done, I was kinda bummed only because I used pureed cauliflower and used way less oil to make it low fat. Oh well no big deal. Got to chat with Clark a bit, I miss hanging out with my buddy. He found me a partner for Feist! Yay!

Funny how much better I'm feeling just by finishing one thing that has been weighing on my mind. Not to mention getting rid of a few toxic relationships and not letting them bother me. Too soon to tell but I feel like some good things are coming my way!

earthlings

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1282796533661048967&

Couldn't sleep so decided to engage my compassionate side.


FUCK everyone

This may be about you

Have You Ever
To get up and walk away would be too easy

So stay and stand your ground, just watch your mouth with me

On the back of every right there's a wrong looming

So here you and I should tread as soft as these razor blades for boots will let be

Have you ever tried to step in my shoes

Have you ever tried to balance on that beam

And if you ever tried to step in my shoes

They'll never be quite as soft as they seem

Unabashed honesty would be ideal

But a prophet did once say that honesty is a lonely word

So where do we go from here...abandon ship now

My problem is you make me melt (more like boil) and I don't want to be frozen anymore

Have you ever tried to step in my shoes

Have you ever tried to balance on that beam

And if you ever tried to step in my shoes

They'll never be quite as soft as they seem

Have you ever...have you ever tried to

I have never...I have never tried to

Have you ever tried to step in my shoes

Have you ever tried to balance on that beam

And if you ever tried to step in my shoes

They'll never be quite as soft as they seem

None other than Incubus!

My first day of moving!

So I woke up this morning around 7:40, already a late start according to my dad. We left for SF shortly after and got there around 10. Greeted a slighlty hungover Meagan and happy J.P. (thats the veg chef!). My room still had random shit everywhere and I felt bad cause Meagan was trying to clean it. Unloading was work, my mom tripped and fell over the last step to get into the house. My dad and I tried hard not to laugh, poor thing! Got my bed set up with headboard minus sheets, my desk, a small dresser, and my bookshelf. My parents left and I unloaded my car myself. Wasn't too bad but I was sweating from all the stairs, the SF breeze felt amazingly nice. I visited with Meagan a bit, paid her my first months rent and she gave me my keys! I told her I'd be up sometime during the week with more stuff. I got in my car and it was barely 11. I was hungry so I googled Cafe Gratitude on my phone, got the address, drove 7 blocks up and 2 over, easily walking distance! It took me as long to find parking as it did to drive there. I sat down at the bar next to a cute boy who was by himself as well. They were playing Feist. I asked the cute boy if I could see his menu and he asked my opinion on some mysterey dried fruit in his granola. I thought it was a mango with the skin on but that is unusual, he asked a waitress, she told us it was dried apple. Mysterey solved. Looking at the menu I thought if I Am Lonely and I Am Stressed were on the menu I would have probably ordered that but instead I got I Am Worthy which was kale, celery, beet, and ginger juice and I Am Insightful which is a collard green wrap with carrots, and cabbage inside and a cashew dipping sauce. Afterward I had to order a milkshake for the heck of it, I got the I Am Cool, it was mint chocolate chip. Nowhere near as good as the one I had in Irvine, this one was barely a milkshake, more like sweet almond milk, but I think the boy was new so I'll give it another try sometime. Got the bill, with tip $30!! Overall Cafe Gratitude stood up to it's name, making me grateful for the my job where I get food and drinks like that 5 days a week for free! I definetly work in the right industry. Speaking of I had been getting texts from Cory since 8:30am for me to meet up with him and a group of people at the Bay to Breakers event. Him and his group were dressed up for it, the theme... Things you would find at a taco stand! He's been planning for this by growing out his beard and mustache and going to dye it and his hair black and wear a cowboy hat, boots, vest and big ol' buckle, I guess he wanted to be the head honcho of the stand. Gawd I hope he took pictures! By his last text it was apparent he was drunk! I told him I was heading home to do homework. He told me Buenos Noches!
On my way back to my car I saw a few things that gave me more of a taste of what SF is going to be like... I passed a buch of photography blowing in the wind.

Sad for whoever lost it. I looked at a few, VERY abstract. Now I wish I would have taken one with me, just for memories sake. Then right outside of my car door was a dirty condom, Yuck! (no picture taken) And a few minutes later experienced a trashy white lady and a black lady with 2 kids and a stroller sreaming at each other down the street, I was trying to figure out what was going on, all I heard was "dumbshit", and "Thanks for the info" and "Oh Yeah do u want my address too?" Such attitude, I thought they might beat each other up at one point. Yikes! I got back to Hollister and it's so much hotter here :( That was my day. Now it's time to actually work on some homework.

I think it may be time to start looking for a new job

Don't get me wrong, I love my job, well I think I do. I lOVE cooking. And I like most of the people I work with some of them I really like, Clark, Cory, Jen, Michelle and Norma. But with others there is a big lack of respect for me, at times. I don't know what it is I guess because I'm different than everybody else. I'm the only veg, I am very concious of what and how I eat and prepare things and I'm outspoken about it. I feel I am most myself at work and it opens me up to a lot of teasing, which is fine, for the most part I laugh it off but this girl can only take so much. I have never been good at comebacks and you know what I like that about myself, but it's frustrating not having the last word so I usually land up getting pissed and laughed at. Whatever I can deal. But it's when shit that occured today happens I start to question peoples respect for me. I was standing by the tilt skillet working on English snap peas, preping them for Monday, talking to Nico explaining how mustard greens are good for digestion, we were trying to convince Oscar to eat just a bite since I had eaten two pieces already and Corbin comes up to the side of me. I notice something cold on my arm and think nothing of it for a second I thought someone was just touching me as they passed behind as we usually do until I look at my arm and see he is touching me with what I think is a duck liver. I screamed You Fucking Asshole and threw the snap pea I had in my hand at his head as he walked away laughing. I immediately walk to the hand sink and scrub with soap. Javier starts laughing jovially. I look at him as I'm scrubbing and said seriously stop laughing I'm fucking pissed right now. He laughs again. I had to try so hard to hold back the tears. I would have been fine if he wasn't laughing, I was pissed but I wouldn't have had tears....
The fact that I just cried right now from thinking about how I felt at that moment tells me that something is not right with me right now. I'm a stronger person than this. But I've noticed myself being more affected by people giving me a hard time. Noticeably enough that Cory had a talk with me about it. I was doing just fine until this instant and even after I think I handled it well, without making such a big deal of it.
I just want to know why people can't leave me alone. I need to create a happy space for myself and somethings telling me it may not be there anymore.

This ones a rant

Like I haven't had enough shit on my mind...
Today I found out a guy I had been talking to had been hitting on another girl I know. No big deal since we weren't together but It was around the same time him and I started talking and he was telling her the exact same shit as he was me, with minor (very minor) variations! And let me tell you, I'm pissed to be compared to her, until very recently I couldn't even stand a conversation with this girl, so self absorbed and disrespectful, she's a skanky bitch if u want my honest opinion. So what the fuck?! I would have never thought him to be that way. Maybe thats why I'm upset. It was more of a fling than anything because he did have a girlfriend (ugh, what does the even say about me?) but I truly believed a lot of what he had to say, we've been friends for a while. Not that I had high expectations of anything between us, but I could have really liked this guy, like wanted to be with him, if I was given the chance, but the chance was never there, thankfully.
I home now listening to music and it seems to fade away all the shit I have been trying to figure out. So let's talk about something else! Let's talk about clothes or shoes, let's talk about food and nutrition, let's talk about life but please let us stop talking about petty shit that we all get ridiculous highs off of only to realize the truth. I had just had a conversation with my best friend yesterday, telling her I'm not hooking up with anybody, call it a born again virgin or whatever you want, I call it smart. I would so rather make new friends than meet a guy who tells me he likes me, waste my time and energy, trying to hold on to or find something there to hold on to. I'd rather spend my time doing something awesome for me like cooking something healthy for someone who doesn't eat well and having them say Yum, or going to the gym and getting full of endorphins, or going to the thrift store and buying 3 pairs of shoes and 2 dresses for $10, or soon enough going out with just myself and a backpack and figuring out what SF has to offer.
Enough drama already, I've had enough.

Why Am I Punishing Myself?

I only wear permanent jewelry

You know, kinda like permanent makeup!

Life is a freaking MESS

I need to say it out loud so I do something about it.
I'm feeling completely bombarded by responsibilitys. I feel like I can't have any fun anymore and fun is exactly what this girl needs- to get my mind off of it all! I have a lot of homework that NEEDS to get done like now! Plus I'm moving very soon and need to get shit organized for that. I guess it's not that much stuff to do, so why do I feel so weighed down by it all?

Hopefully my spirits will be lifted soon but I guess thats all up to me.

I have a new home... Well in a few weeks I will!

Yesterday I went and looked at a house in SF, the one in the blog below and now I will be moving there in a few weeks!
It's a green house with a orangeish door, the fully stocked kitchen is big and everything is communal. The backyard has a garden with tons of herbs and potatoes right now. There is a washer and dryer which is going to be soo nice considering I get dirty at work everyday. My room is upsatairs with 2 other people, it's a pretty decent size.
I met 3 out of 5 of my new roomates and they were awesome. I felt really comfortable, they were super welcoming. I met Meagan and the veg chef (can't remember his name, whoops!). They are a couple and are like the mom and dad of the house, which means they take care of a lot of the bills, and landlord crap. They were so friendly. I also met Jasmine who is probably going to be a good friend. She was making a super cute black and white dress for her finals while babysitting her best friends 7 year old who totally reminded me of Kylie :) She is from San Jose and knows some of the girls I used to work with. We played the name game. Kinda sucks considering I was trying to escape all those downtown SJ memorys but whatever! She also works at MAC and was telling me about vintage shops in the area, asking if I liked to go out and if I go to the gym. We both have 24 hour Fitness memberships and she said that her and the other guy roomates go on Saturdays. They were also telling me about how good the bus system was and which one goes where, maybe I'll remember eventually! Anyway I move in sometime next month, they are supposed to be emptying the room soon so I can move in slowly.
I couldn't be happier. It seems like this was the right choice because a lot of things are falling into place for me now.

Vacation o.v.e.r.

Well here I am 1,340 miles on my car later and about maybe $600-700 broker (after Coachella tickets, gas, food, and a shopping spree on Melrose!) and maybe 5 pounds heavier after all the eating we did! Really was amazing! I spent all of Friday and Saturday at Coachella completely sober! but at least I remember everything! I was very impressed with the whole event, there was tons of veg friendly food, I even got a fresh coconut! They set up a booth where if you recycled 10 empty bottles you got a free water! Chris was way into that.
The best part of the whole weekend was Portishead!! Of course! It was tragic and exhilarating, I was so in that moment and now I just want to go back.
We sold our tickets for Sunday so Chris and I spent the day eating! We started with these breakfast patties that I had made and brought, they were soo good (tempeh, vegan cheese, potatoes, herbs, breadcrumbs, shoyu, and maybe a few other things) then we went to Mother's to get vegan milkshakes, I had a Shamrock which could be compared to a grasshopper with oreo cookies blended up. OMG is all I could say with wide eyes! The we went to LA to Ameoba and I bought Kate Nash and Incubus Morning View, cause mine's scratched. Then we went to Bulan, where he and I first met!! Had amazing food but I was really full. Luckily we were on Melrose so we decided to walk it off because the sun felt so nice. What started as a walk ended as me spending so much money but damn I got a lot of stuff for my money. 3 dresses, a skirt, a sweater, 2 tops, a backpack, AND a super cute apron that he made me buy!! He was a very patient shopper and helpful too, even though I bought that dress he said looked like curtains. The lady gave me a discount, I had to!!
After that we drove far far away so I could meet his best friend and his wife. Tony and Sharon were really nice. Once he said Sharon reminded him of me, I could see that. Tony was not what I pictured to be Chris' best friend but I liked him! The next day I started my journey home but not before one last visit with Ash. I went to her work and visited some of her coworkers that I knew then had lunch at my new favorite, Veggie Grill. That was my vacation, pretty sad ride home, except Chris burned me CSS, the new Portishead and Baxter, which I probably listened to 5 times!

Thanks Chris and Ashley. I'll be back soon, I promise <3

An adventure today!

I'm going to Coachella!!
Don't be too jealous... Chris and I are going to be dying in 101 degrees all weekend!
Well I'm off, have a great weekend, I hope I do the same!

Pretty much drove half of California today

So DAMN I made it from Mountain View to Long Beach in exactly 6 hours!!!! Thats like 400 miles for those who don't know. Has to be the best experience driving here I've ever had! I remembered how much I fucking love Murder City Devils and realized Misfits are hard to listen to... I kept picturing David shaking his leg and bobbing his head and making me dance when we are sooo drunk together! It did make me laugh out loud a little :) Then I had the most interesting idea inspired by the sprig of rosemary I brought along for the ride while eating Barbara's No-Wheat Oatmeal Animal Crackers... I want to create Rosemary Oatmeal Scones or maybe Cookies, vegan of course!! Could be soooo good considering how much I love rosemary or taste like sweet dirt. Clark said it sounds wonderful... I'll find out soon! Then my phone died along the way so I walked in to a stark naked Ashley!! Haha sorry B! I swear I didn't see anything.
Now I'm off to get changed and hang out with the most wonderful person I know :)

Cauliflower Mash

Cauliflower
millet
yellow miso
shoyu
soy milk
nutritional yeast
thyme
garlic oil
maple syrup, just a touch
a splash of lime juice to round out the flavors

Think mashed potatoes but with cauliflower instead. I made it really yummy! Now that I think about it, I could have added some spicyness, maybe a little chipotle?!

best news I've heard all day

My insurance agent left me a message.
Had the accident claim been $90 more dollars the accident would go on my record and my insurance would have gone up. But it's not :) I'm feeling a little lucky right now.

April 21st reminds me

that I miss part of my old life today.

Anxious!!

Look what has been waitng in my email for me alll day!!

Hi Ashley,

My name is Meagan I am a 25 year old girl who was born and raised in San Francisco. I live in a five bedroom house in the Mission/ Bernal Hights area. We have a good sized bedroomavailable June 1, 2008.

Our house is a good size and includes a living room a large kitchen and a large backyard. ]

I understand you are a chef with is really cool because one of the roomates is a chef at Green's a vegaterian restraunt in San Francisco, he is 27. Other roomies include a newly 26/M year old who is a bartender, a 23/ F who works for MAC and finally a 32/M who works at a nearby cafe and also does woodworking.

If this sounds like a living situation you would like to be in please email.

Thank you,

Meagan

This sounds great :) Having another veg chef around to learn from and cook with would be so fun!

A sort of Loss of Innocence is how I feel

Change is hard, it's easy to feel lost.
Open the shades, today is the newest day.

Nothing Like Tomorrow

Vapor kiss memory of such longing
Whispered dream gone before the morning
Time is such a funny thing
It pulls you on like silly string
Oh the pain and sorrow
Never thought the haunting of
Such a temporary love
Could make me beg and borrow
Nothing like tomorrow
Nothing like tomorrow
Sugar sweet I won't forget the dawning
All alone smiles come throught the yawning
Love is such a funny thing
It pulls me on like silly string
Something like a good dream
If they find that I am lost
Point me to the nearest cross
Naked as a moonbeam
Nothing like tomorrow
Nothing like tomorrow
Nothing like tomorrow
Calling whispers sent to you at the speed of light
At the speed of light
Calling whispers sent to you at the speed of light
At the speed of light
Calling whispers sent to you at the speed of light
Nothing like tomorrow
Nothing like tomorrow
Nothing like tomorrow
There is nothing like tomorrow
Love is such a funny thing
Nothing like tomorrow
And I'm waiting for tomorrow
Nothing like tomorrow
Nothing like tomorrow

Supreme Beings of Leisure

My brilliant Idea to sell Vintage Clothing

Today I thought of a new goal! (when I have more time)
I am going to start an ebay store of vintage clothing. Seriously I could totally do it. And my stuff is way cuter than some of the other online overpriced vintage stores. I have accumulated so much stuff over the years plus I think it would be fun to model the stuff to sell it to people all over. From now on I'm not selling any vintage stuff to Black&Brown or Crossroads. My mom is going to love having all kinds of stuff left behind at her house. She actually said I should do it and that she'd go to the post office for me, everyday. She is overwhelmed by how much stuff I have but understands, she has just as much vintage knick knacks as I do shoes, clothes, purses, and jewelry!

My very own Blog

Now I can say whatever I want and no one will know! Haha
Just kidding this is the internet after all. And why write things down if you don't want people to read them. Well after a pretty damn unproducive day I find myself lonely. I was attempting to ignore the world in order to get some school work done. I'm a little annoyed by the fact that the world is ignoring me back. At least today it is.
I guess it's nice for a change. Lately I have felt like the center of attention and it takes some getting used to. In fact I'm not sure I want to get used to this feeling.
On I think Thursday this guy at work was talking to me in the elevator. He asked me a few questions about some guy I don't even know that apparently likes me. He continued to tell me that it's known that I "am the hottest girl at No Name Cafe" and that his cousin said he "was tired of hearing about this girl Ashley." He said his cousin didn't know who I was so he brought him by my cafe to check me out. WTF!
I didn't even know this had happened and honestly was kinda uncomfortable with him telling me this.
I don't think I am the hottest girl at No Name, Why does there even need to be A Hottest girl? Ridiculous. I know my kitchen is full of hormones and I am part of that but the thought of people that I don't even know being tired of hearing about me makes me stop and think. I have never been good at recieving attention. I always take it in the most negative way possible. Why is he tired of hearing about me? What have I done to make people talk about me? What are they saying? I don't like that sort of attention. I feel exposed. Has a lot to do with being fat as a kid, for sure. People who were fat kids know what I'm talking about. Such a thing has greatly influenced my entire life.
This is just an example of what things have been like for me lately. In a way attention is so nice but in a way it feels fake. There is nothing worse than getting close to someone and then realizing that just since you can't or won't be with him then you are no longer worth talking to in the same way. I don't like the idea of investing time in someone, giving the best part of yourself to them and then getting nothing back in return. It's one of the things I struggle with.
So I guess this blog is sort of my attempt to be more comfortable with attention. I have been and will be making a lot of changes and realize I want people around to experience it all with.