done with you

I'm not posting anymore

call me for some real interaction :)

how about that?!

Not too bad for a Monday

Especially considering I went out til after 2 am last night. I would probably not have woken up If my sister Megan hadn't called me at 6:30 this morning to tell me my grandpa died. He's been having health problems and things just gave out on him. It is sad but I didn't even cry, I haven't been close with him since he divorced my grandma for his mistress when I was like 12 years old. He was a nice guy though and I feel bad for my mom, she has been driving to Monterey every other day to see him. I have to call her tonight but it may feel weird cause I'm not sad. I feel like a bad person but I also feel like I didn't even know him.
Other than that the rest of the day was surprisingly pleasant. The cab driver who got me to work on time was cool to talk to and didn't let me tip him. I really love San Francisco. And things are so fun right now. I don't want it to go away.
Last night I went out with Jasmine and we met up with some of our neighbors at Kilowatt. Had some beers and chatted with them. Then we went to D and danced, Jonah was there and he danced with me. Dancing makes me laugh soo much! I get so embarrased but it's so funny cause everyone dances bad but are having fun and I love that :) Jonah was so incredibly cool. When I got there he was chatting with two girls and I got a little sad, I have to admit. But s soon as he saw me he came over and said hi. He was present but not too present the entire time. I liked it and Jasmine was "lightweight impressed" by the way he acted with me. Thats good considering she isn't the biggest fan of someone who wants to steal me away. My neighbor told me she hasn't seen Jonah act this way with a girl in a really long time. She also said his tattoos were amazing and went on about how good he is and she wants to get this meaningful one done by him. I still haven't seen any of his work but I know the boy has talent. He's painting the hallway to his apt and it is so so pretty. I was in awe and it's nowhere near being done.
He's being really sweet with me :) and after talking last night we are exclusive to one another. But I'm not his girlfriend, nor do I want to be. Jasmine and I have a double date with her friends from San Jose tonight. I've met her guy once and never met this other guy. It's just the movies, it should be fun since we are going to Imax, but the movie doesn't start til 12am. My sleep schedule is going to be so fucked up. So I need to take a nap right now. A long one! But I'm not too tired. Work was actually quite pleasant today. No crazy rushing or frantic feeling of 11:30 sneeking up on us. It's the first day we were calm and I like cooking with Ranya a lot.
Alright..... naptime I guess.

"Old people don't make out"

That is what Jerimiah said on Friday night when I asked him if he took his date, who is over 30 like him, back to his workshop to makeout with her. For some reason I kept thinking about that yesterday while waiting for Feist. I think it's kinda lame but I can see how they are just over it or maybe bitter by then. Love is not easy but it is supposed to be fun! When I get old I'm still going to makeout!
Speaking of making out and fun, let's me just say I'm having a lot of fun right now. I've gotten to do everything I've wanted to do and still have gotten to see Jonah the past 3 nights. It's weird because I'd rather hang out and have fun and see him casually whenever and he's the same way, although he has invited me everywhere he's gone, I've kinda just done my own thing. Last night we kinda talked about "us" and it was way too soon for that conversation and he kinda blew it by bringing anything up, I like that he likes me but I don't know what I want and am confused as to what he wants. When we woke up I asked if we could forget last night, and he thought I was over him. I told him it's too soon for me to be over it, I'm still trying to know him. He hugged me :)
Last night I went to see Feist in Berkeley!!! The show was soo good, she is amazing. Really amazing singer and haha soo feisty! She talked to the crowd a lot and was smart, and sassy but she was adorable. And there was this crazy projection the these 2 girls were doing for the back screen. At one point she started with a picture of waves drawn with those projector markers, remember from grade school, and by the end had turned into something completely more detailed and crazy all with her hands. It was so cool. And Berkeley was perfect, like always. I had fun with Jasmine. After that her and I went out to D, met some guy she knew, named Alex, randomly right when we got in, had good conversations and talked to a few other people. We didn't even move from our seats at the bar the whole night, everything just came to us. I met a nice guy named Kurt, I thought he was some guy I met earlier that day at Jonah's so I was like HI, then we just continued to talk. Me and Jasmine are going to play doubles tennis with Kurt and Alex. I really hope that happens cause they were telling us about their outfits and I need to see Kurt in a headband, short shorts, a polo and white cons! After that we went to a small party with them and hung out for a while. It was a good night but I escaped to meet Jonah without saying bye to Kurt. I felt bad but Jasmine said she gave him my number cause he asked :) Well I should finish getting ready cause I'm going to meet Jasmine and Jerimiah at GG Park to watch them swing dance and look at the turtles, after that I'm shopping on Haight cause I haven't done that yet.

Oh man...

Just when I was wanting to give up on you, you make it all better and some! We will see, this may be something more :)

San Francisco boys, boys, BOYS!

Too much talking about boys going on! Girls can be so obsessive. I'm doing my best to not. But it is kinda fun trying to figure out guys, but only if you keep a careless attitude otherwise it gets very messy.
I saw Jonah last night again!
It was fun. I just wish I was more talkative but things seem to be going well. I'm not too sure what I want to come out of it but it's nice right now.

I shouldn't have drove last night

Too many shots, too quick, no lunch or dinner, or maybe too many drunk people around rubbing off on me, whatever reason I was drunk. And it was interesting. I went to Mountain View to visit my old coworkers. I tattled about Gabe having me on front of house and almost cried when I was talking to Clark about how bad it was depressing me. There was a lot of love and hugs and kisses and tears last night. It was Corbins last day and Clark and Myrna are dealing with a lot of changes and stresses at work. They feel like they have to take care of everyone in the kitchen now. And the new EC they deal with sounds like no fun at all. Poor Clarky and Myrna, I miss them, they are going to try to get me back in Mountain View but I don't know that sorta seems lame to go back like that, as much as I'd like it. I hate hating my job. I won't go back though, something will happen and things will get better.

Damn all I want to do is sleep this day away and clean my room but I have to get up to volunteer at Doof.... I hope it's better than last year at least.

A gold star day

Home from hanging out with Jonah. It was a good date, I must say I like him. Maybe not forever but for now, no doubt :) And I haven't felt that in a long time.
And work was not so bad, I realized I actually got that raise for transfering to the city. Doesn't make much of a difference in me wanting to be there but it helps. Tomorrows Friday. I will survive one more day.

Fuck my Job!

Ugh. My job sucks. I can't wait for JP to get home to see if they need anyone at Greens restaurant.

I don't like anyone there, except Sam, Ian, Ranya and Gabe. And they don't even like working there. Today Gabe asked if I wanted to move to salad bar, salad bar? Umm not really. Plus it would be with this lazy dimwit who likes to tell me what to do. Yesterday he sat down with me and Sam and was like okay Ashley should we get the boxing gloves out? I was like I'm sorry dude I only got an hour of sleep last night and I apologize if I was rude earlier (I had just rolled my eyes is all). He was like okay what about all the other days. I just told him I wasn't used to be told what to do (and the fact that he's an idiot trying to tell me what to do pisses me off) and I'm still trying to adjust because I don't like it there. Whatever the conversation didn't help much.
So I had to make a decision when Gabe asked and I told him I'd rather stay on front of house til he hires someone. Then we had to go into why I didn't want to work with the guy. I've been trying to avoid being spoiled but I even asked Sam what I should do and he looked at me and gave me a kiss on the cheek cause he knows how much I'm hating it, as is he. If JP has room I'm going to try and get me and Sam a job at Greens. And fuck Bob, he makes me so angry. He has to fucking talk so much and this afternoon he trys to get me to help prep scallops for an event tomorrow and I'm like isn't there anything else I can do... so that starts a conversation where he gets very judgemental about my life, while trying to act like he's looking out for my best interest. Every damn thing I say he has a response for. I finally say Why do u have to fucking say something about everything I say, you don't even know me and are judging me so much. I see him smile. But he did have a good point, I need to get the fuck out of Google. I just don't want to fuck over the cafe since they have hiring freeze but I need to do what I need to do. I hear JP downstairs, I'm gonna go talk to him now.

UH Ohhh!!

Someone met a guy last night, that means trouble. We are having dinner on Thursday. I kinda like him, so far. I'm a little scared...

Whatever happens, I'm blaming Jasmine!

Guess I'm not so privelaged

I have to work front of house this week at work. When Gabe asked me to do it I'm sure I gave him a look like Did I do something wrong?! He knew I'd be offended but I pretty much said yes to "A Favor" before I even knew what it was. He looked so cute with his new haircut ;) And now he owes me... according to him he owes me again, so I'm okay with that.
I could have shot myself, having to fill up like 80 water bottles for the tables, not once but twice, before and after lunch. And it was pretty damn boring picking up lettuce, wiping counters, sorting silverware and filling napkins. This is going to be a long week. I really miss my friends at No Name but in a way it's nice not being bugged, which a few of them there did bug me a lot. Although today Bob got into the whole Why Are You A Vegan? thing. I tried to avoid talking about it and he was like u aren't even giving me any good reasons, so I finally said "U know why Bob, because I was made fun of it at my last job so much that I'm trying to avoid even talking about it here, thats why I really don't talk to you very much" Some of the others guys came to my defense and were like just leave her alone, don't tease her. That was nice. But I don't think it will last.

I got a Fast Pass!

I can take bart and muni anywhere now cause the month is paid for :)
Totally new and dorky, I know. But I like being a dork and I like being new to the city. Haha stupid Bob, this guy I work with told me he saw me walking to work on Monday, my first day, and I had my map out and was looking around. He said he ignored me because I looked way too nerdy, even though he knew it was me.
My new job is okay. I like getting to work much better now although I know there will be times where I wish I could just take my car. Like when it's raining, considering it's about 30 minutes of walking. But I'm enjoying it so far. I think Monday I was bitter, there was no way this new place would be a good as my family at No Name. But I went in there and was happily met by Sam, a former but now current, coworker. And guess what? I wasn't on veg station, I was in charge of composed salads, salads containing meat. Huh? yeah...
Had to let that soak in for a minute and got in one argument with Bob when I was cooking bacon and I said it was disgusting, I think it surprised a few people, but they seemed to be impressed by me for standing up to Bob. So I came to terms with the whole meat thing. Not happy about it and avoid it at all cost but when it comes down to me making a huge deal or just getting my job done without complaining I'm gonna just do it. This is a fesh work environment and I'm trying to make it enjoyable, meaning I'm taking Cory's advice and trying not to let people figure out how to get to me. I have been working my ass off. I'm really trying to impress. I want nothing but good things said about me and It's fun working hard. Yeah it is only salads but there is 3 that change everyday and I am on my own for all my prep. I'm actaully really enjoying working on my knife skills, especially when I get to look up out the window with a beautiful view of the bay bridge, palm trees and water!! It feels like vacation :) Gabe, my new sous chef, (umm who is very nice to look at) asked me where I wanted to be in the kitchen, I told him veg, of course and he said I'd be there as soon as he figured out a switch, within a month. By Friday I went up to him and told him I wanted to stay on composed salads. He kinda laughed at me until I explained my reasoning... -I want to write the menus without stepping on toes, as it would be if I moved to veg, -I like where my station is, I'm facing the windows instead of the wall and I'm right next to Sam in our little corner, instead of next to Bob, if I moved to veg, Thursday Sam brought his ipod and him and I listened to AFI, Feist, and Rilo Kiley all day -I also like composed salads because I'm working alone and the veg team seem to work slow, I don't want to slow down. Gabe seemed to be okay with me staying on composed salads. He's been cool towards me, I can tell he was told to take care of me, although I'm trying not to be privelaged by working as hard and fast as I can. Overall it's not that bad working there and I think it will only keep getting better.

looking back but staring foward

I'd just like to congradulate myself for a moment. I have almost completely changed my life in the past 6 months. I knew this day would come where I could look back and be proud of the hardships I had to go through to get here, exactly where I want to be. Maybe it isn't that huge of a deal to anybody else but it takes courage to realize unhappiness and do whats neccessary to change it. I live in a new city, have a new job and I'm loving everyday full of new experiences :) Really things have been great. I'm making friends with my roomates. It's nice coming home to people you enjoy. And I love that I've reconnected with Elisa and Nicole.
SF has so much to offer and I've barely scratched the surface of it all. It makes it even better having Ashley and German here visiting! This weekend has been so fun so far. Thursday I picked them up, took them by Google in Mountain View, which was disappointingly unactive. So we headed to the city, found their hotel and I went home for a bit to change. Met back up with them, had a good dinner and drinks. Headed to Popscene, so German could dance!! It was worth seeing, but me not being much of a dancer, did not belong. We then went to Mastadon to meet Elisa, her and I proceeded to get drunk and didn't make it home til almost 4. We both woke up hungover but I remember us laughing a lot so it wasn't too bad. I dropped her off at bart and made my way to Rainbow Market. Was pretty impressive. I thought it was cute that Ash told me German had said he hopes I cook for them, so I had to, even though being hungover and a new kitchen made cooking turn into an all day project. Not very often do I get to put my skills to use for a vegan friend. I made my faithful lasagna, with a few alterations and a really good salad with mixed greens, quinoa, green apple, gogi berries, walnuts and a basil-apple dressing. Mmm. It was nice to have them over and Jerimiah and JP ate with us. I wanted to make dessert but couldn't find the tofu I needed. So after dinner at my house we went to Cafe Gratitude and spent $50 on dessert and latte's, damn nuts are soo expensive! Andy met us there then we made our way down near their hotel. There was random fireworks all over the city sky but we didn't make it a point to watch. Kind of disappointing but I'm over it. We went to this place German heard of called Annie's Social Club. It was cool, had a band playing in the front, good drinks and karaoke in the back. Ash and German both sang and it was great. It was Ash's first time going up alone and it had to be the most adorable thing I've ever seen her do :) Haha I'm so proud, the girl can sing even though she won't admit it! Me and Andy got home eventually, and ate lasagna, after hanging out at their hotel til 3am, talking, talking, talking about some things I'm upset we spent so much talking about, but whatever. I really like hanging out with Ash and German and Andy was drunk and entertaining! Andy I promise someday we will smoke on my roof!!! :)
Today we spent the day in Santa cruz

It was nice being there. We got PF, of course, and vegan milkshakes and I got some cute things at American Apparel. Mainly it was just nice to hang out, Dana and Hunter met us there and Ash got to meet the sweet little guy!

It was a long drive. Tomorrow they go home, but not before breakfast with Ash's dad and picking up Kylie. I can't wait to see Kylie cause I'm gonna tell her about our plans for Disneyland! I hope she's excited as I am.